Big Greasy Breakfast

Dear Oprah-
Dear Oprah-

I have admired you and your show(s) for many moons. I respect what you’ve done for women and a few men throughout your career. But that’s the point of this letter. You see, I have an idea for a new show. Almost an Oprah for men, hosted by a guy like me. I would offer to shoot the pilot episode, but I don’t look attractive on TV. I’m thinking maybe Seacrest or Jeff Probst or Richard Hammond from “Top Gear”. It would be mainly for guys like me who are under-served  in today’s media. Guys who are progressive and modern. Guys who aren’t afraid to be a  a little trendy, yet still hold traditional values that they find endearing; like Christmas and family. Guys who know how to re-attach the mower to the lawn tractor, but also don’t mind emptying the dishwasher and wiping off the counters in the kitchen. Guys who like to grill, but know how to caramelize onions, as well. Guys who love vintage cars, but also appreciate a great pair of jeans. Guys who spend whole afternoons with their sons and daughters, but also imbibe in small batch whiskey with their neighbors. Guys who watch what they eat, yet still like to talk about attractive women. Guys who don’t mind digging ditches around the house, but also like shopping online. Guys who proclaim their love for Led Zeppelin, but get excited when Miles Davis plays on their iPod.

There are too many guys on TV who are either doctors, lawyers, politicians or hardcore rednecks. What we need is a male Oprah on TV so that we’ll have something to watch while we fix our lawn implements, play with our kids, clean the kitchen and drink.

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